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Pastor’s Wife

Melissa Mashburn

Real Women. Real Life. Real Faith.

Keeping First Things First In Ministry, A Guest Post Over At Upgrade With Dawn

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“Ministry can become all consuming, but it’s important to remember to keep first things first and that’s making your own family a priority,” Melissa says. “Every day you are given a gift—your family. Yes, you have a call to do more, serve more and love the people in your community more, but ultimately, your family is your first ministry.”

Ministry can become all consuming, but it’s important to remember to keep first things first — make your own family a priority.

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There are so many things to love about ministry, like being able to be a part of someone else’s faith journey, using your gifts and skills for the Kingdom, and doing something with your life that is far beyond anything you could do on your own.

Unfortunately the “job” can become overwhelming. You can find yourself stuck in a never-ending cycle of trying to catch up. 

After fifteen years in full time ministry at a local church in South Florida, I finally realize a few things about ministry:

  1. You will never get it all done. There will always be room for improvement or one more thing on your ministry task list.
  2. It’s not all up to me. You are there to do your part, but the whole thing doesn’t rest on your shoulders. If it’s God’s will, He will make it happen— with or without you.
  3. Your family is your first ministry. If you are married and have children, they need to see they are number one in your life, not your job or ministry.

…there’s so much more to share about this topic. To find out what happened when I took my eyes off what’s really most important come on over to Upgrade with Dawn.

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Keep 1st Things 1st N #Ministry. Family must B a priority. http://bit.ly/1NZlgAD @Mels_World @heartchoices

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Taking Down the Facade

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If you’ve spent any time in ministry, especially with women, chances are you’ve been hurt, burned, back-stabbed or misunderstood.

It’s painful. It’s brutal. It flat out sucks the wind from your sails. And in order to protect yourself from getting hurt again, you put up a façade.

Chances are you probably don’t even remember when you started to wear that mask, but to protect your heart, you did.

I did it too. After fifteen years in ministry, I have seen it all, experienced a lot of incredibly tough stuff and had my heart broken many times.

I built a protective barrier around myself—the façade—in order to keep people from getting close to the real me.

In doing so, though, I also kept myself completely isolated.That led to feelings of loneliness, isolation and, at times, even depression. It wasn’t until about six years ago I decided to lay down the mask and let God show me how to put away the façade.

Paul told the Roman Christians,

“Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other” (Romans 12:9-10 NLT).

In other words, God tells us,

“Lay down your mask! Get real! Love people!”

If you are struggling with this like I have, here are a few things to help you as you learn to lay down your mask.

1. Pray First

Ask God to open your heart and allow you the opportunity to just be you. Ask Him to be your protector, and to also bring you a few truly special, safe friends who can come around you as you take these steps.

2. Talk to Your Spouse or Close Family Member

If you’re married, talk it over with your spouse. Ask him to be a part of the process with you and seek out his prayers.

If you’re not married, talk it over with a close family member who understands you and your struggle to be more authentic in ministry.

3. Talk to Your Pastor

If you’re in ministry at a local church, I encourage you to talk it over with your pastor. Ask him to pray for you as you step into new territory in ministry.

This takes another step of vulnerability. I understand that. But by bringing your pastor in on this process, he can help you venture into new territory.

4. Give Yourself Time

If you’ve been in ministry for more than ten years, you’ve probably slowly built up the façade. It’s not going to just disappear; it will take time.

Make sure you allow yourself time to release years of protective layers around your heart.

5. Give It All Back to God

Whatever steps you make, and however long it takes, if God has called you to ministry, He has equipped you to do it as well.

Celebrate the small steps. Give Him all the glory and continue moving forward.

I know it’s not going to be easy—it wasn’t for me either—but the women God has brought into our lives are desperate for women in ministry to be real, to show them what it is like to live out ordinary lives with God at the forefront.

Let’s take this step together and see what God will do.

Are you wearing a mask today? What is keeping you behind the façade? What will you do to “get real” so God can minister through your transformed life?

 

This post was originally posted on 2/24/15 over at Upgrade with Dawn. DawnHeader

Have you heard of Upgrade with Dawn? You should check it out…

Just as we upgrade our cell phones, appliances, hairstyles and so many other things … we can UPGRADE our lives. We can make positive decisions for change.

FRESH, ENCOURAGING Guest BLOGGERS on this site share how we can UPGRADE our attitudes, marriage, finances, parenting, and so many other areas. Especially our heart. Their voices will encourage, teach, and show how to improve, boost, enhance, uplift, repair, renovate and rebuild our lives – all synonyms for “UPGRADE!” UPGRADE also offers helpful tools and resources.

A Word To Boy Moms About Preparing Your Heart

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Attention boy moms, there’s going to come a time when you need to make room in your heart for your son’s special girl. Ouch, I know, that’s a tough one, especially if you have little boys at home right now. As a matter of fact it took me a long time to wrap my head (and my heart) around this, but I’m hoping that through my trial and error your transition might be a little smoother.

Attention boy moms, there’s going to come a time when you need to make room in your heart for your son’s special girl.

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Over the years it’s not always been easy, as any boy mom can attest to. They are rowdy, rambunctious, messy, smelly, and pretty much keep you on your toes every minute of every day. Yep, I’m a boy mom through and through. Those two precious boys wrapped this mama heart around their fingers so tightly that when they started to grow up it was painfully hard for me to let them.

I knew that the day would come when another girl would grab their heart but nothing really prepared me for sharing my boys with someone else. I had prayed for good, godly girls to come into their life, but when they showed up I struggled. Unfortunately it wasn’t a smooth transition either–for me, for the boys, or even the girls.

…for the rest of the post, head on over to the M.O.M. Initiative.

Tips for boy moms — learning how to share your boys with their girls.

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Don’t know about the M.O.M. Initiative? Here’s a little about what we do:

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The M.O.M. Initiative is an acrostic for Mothers on a Mission to Mentor Other Mothers. Our goal is to minister to moms who know Christ and reach those who don’t.

As a ministry, we provide resources and support to help the body of Christ make mentoring missional…to not only begin to mentor moms within the four walls of the church, but to mentor moms beyond the walls of the church in order to impact our communities and this culture for Christ.

With resources for the local church and area ministries, training, an online database of M.O.M. Groups, daily online encouragement, and ministry support, The M.O.M. Initiative helps connect local churches and ministries with one another and with the community.

Did You Know That We Are Wired For Rest?

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WiredForRest_MelissaMashburn

Rest, it’s one of those four letter words that evokes a lot of varying emotions from people. There’s the exasperated sigh, the faraway gaze of someone in need of rest and also the “what are you, a wimp?” remark from someone that thinks you should just suck it up. But what if I told you that we are actually wired for rest. What would you say then?

Oh, I know, there are too many things to do, places to go and people to see to find time to rest. I get that. I’ve even heard it said from others that they’ll have time to rest when they die, but sweet friend, that is not how God created us.

Rest, is a four letter words that evokes a lot of varying emotions, but what it I told you that we’re actually wired for rest.

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———————> I’m over at the Internet Cafe Devotions today talking about how God wired us for rest. To find out what that means and how to get started on having some time to rest in your life, then visit me over at the Internet Cafe, you can click here to get there.

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The Internet Café unites women of faith; unites women through the exhortation, edification and encouragement of each other through God’s guiding hand. We seek to unite women regardless of our stage of life or the signs that mark our church doors. Passionately we believe that through our written words we can support women on their own personal journey of faith, inspiring them to live as true disciples.

Tackling A Few Motherhood Myths

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MotherhoodIsHardWork_MelissaMashburn

 Today I’m over at The M.O.M. Initiative talking about

“Motherhood Is Hard Work – It’s Time For Moms To Stick Together”.

Without a doubt being a mom is one of the hardest jobs I’ve ever had in my life. Never would I have imagined the sheer number of emotions and the intensity each one brings with it. It’s true, motherhood is hard work, and it’s time for moms to stick together.

It’s my heart that by coming to you as a “seasoned” (that’s a nicer way of saying “older”) mom and sharing a little bit of what I’ve learned on the journey of being a mom.

Here’s what I can tell you…it doesn’t get easier.

Yeah, not the answer you expected, I know. Yes, each stage has its highs and lows, but the motherhood part–well, it’s just as hard today as it was the day I brought my little bundle of joy home. Now that bundle of joy is inching closer to twenty one and the “baby”, well, he’s closing in on nineteen.

So you see, I’ve been on this motherhood journey for a very long time. Here are a few motherhood myths that I’ve seen along the way.

Motherhood Myths

  • I can do it all on my own – This happens when we can’t, won’t or don’t ask for help. We put on our wonder woman suit and will do whatever it takes to get it done.

Here’s the truth – Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NLT

Here’s a better way – Seek out a couple of friends that you can count on to jump in and help you get it done. Whether it is a babysitting swap so you can get your cleaning done, or coordinating a group outing so that you can take some time to just slow down and breathe a little bit.

——————> Head on over to The M.O.M. Initiative to read the other 2 Motherhood Myths and while you are there, find out a little more about the incredible group of moms over there…you’ll be so glad you did!

Have you heard about the M.O.M. Initiative?

Here’s a little bit about what we’re doing…

The M.O.M. Initiative is an acrostic for Mothers on a Mission to Mentor Other Mothers. Our goal is to minister to moms who know Christ and reach those who don’t.

As a ministry, we provide resources and support to help the body of Christ make mentoring missional…to not only begin to mentor moms within the four walls of the church, but to mentor moms beyond the walls of the church in order to impact our communities and this culture for Christ.

With resources for the local church and area ministries, training, an online database of M.O.M. Groups, daily online encouragement, and ministry support, The M.O.M. Initiative helps connect local churches and ministries with one another and with the community.

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