Sometimes You Just Need To Remember That You Are Not Alone

April 7, 2015 By: Melissa

Dear one, I see you there struggling to make ends meet. Trying to make things make sense and just clear your head from all the distractions pulling on you right this very minute. Your mind is racing and you begin to wonder how you even got to this place, but here’s one thing you need to know – you are not alone.

I know it might feel like it at times.

Believe me I know.

That’s just not the truth though. Oh yeah, sure. the enemy is going to do his best to try to get you to give up hope. To feel lost. To isolate yourself. To just plain give up. But don’t because there’s a truth that you need to grab hold of — not just in your head, but also in your heart.

Our Heavenly Father is madly, deeply in love with you and He wants to rescue you from the pain that has a grip on your heart.

He wants you to know that…You are not alone.

Yes, I know that it’s easy to believe the lies that you are alone. I also know that the stress, pressure and stuff weigh heavy on your heart. To the point that some days it is hard to even get out of bed. I get that, because I’ve been there too.

I know what it’s like to;

– feel like I’m the only one going through this difficult situation.
– think that no one would love me or accept me if they knew me, I mean really knew me.
– believe that people would abandon me if they saw the scars from my pain or my past.
– hurt from deep down in my soul and wonder why this is happening to me.

Yes, I my friend, I am just like you.

Our stories and struggles might not be the same, but this much is true. How we “feel” doesn’t decide how we are loved or if we are lonely. As Lysa TerKuerst so eloquently says in her book Unglued, “my feelings are indicators, not dictators”.

Sweet friend, whatever you are going through right now you must grab hold of this — You never have been and you never will be alone.

You want to know how I know?

Then join me over at the Internet Cafe Devotions site… click here to read the rest of the post.

Oh…maybe you are like me and you like to have these reminders for your phone or for your Instagram, then here’s a pic that is sized perfectly to share just for YOU. You are more than welcome to snag it for yourself. Enjoy! 🙂

Taking Down the Facade

March 17, 2015 By: Melissa

If you’ve spent any time in ministry, especially with women, chances are you’ve been hurt, burned, back-stabbed or misunderstood.

It’s painful. It’s brutal. It flat out sucks the wind from your sails. And in order to protect yourself from getting hurt again, you put up a façade.

Chances are you probably don’t even remember when you started to wear that mask, but to protect your heart, you did.

I did it too. After fifteen years in ministry, I have seen it all, experienced a lot of incredibly tough stuff and had my heart broken many times.

I built a protective barrier around myself—the façade—in order to keep people from getting close to the real me.

In doing so, though, I also kept myself completely isolated.That led to feelings of loneliness, isolation and, at times, even depression. It wasn’t until about six years ago I decided to lay down the mask and let God show me how to put away the façade.

Paul told the Roman Christians,

“Don’t just pretend to love others. Really love them. Hate what is wrong. Hold tightly to what is good. Love each other with genuine affection, and take delight in honoring each other” (Romans 12:9-10 NLT).

In other words, God tells us,

“Lay down your mask! Get real! Love people!”

If you are struggling with this like I have, here are a few things to help you as you learn to lay down your mask.

1. Pray First

Ask God to open your heart and allow you the opportunity to just be you. Ask Him to be your protector, and to also bring you a few truly special, safe friends who can come around you as you take these steps.

2. Talk to Your Spouse or Close Family Member

If you’re married, talk it over with your spouse. Ask him to be a part of the process with you and seek out his prayers.

If you’re not married, talk it over with a close family member who understands you and your struggle to be more authentic in ministry.

3. Talk to Your Pastor

If you’re in ministry at a local church, I encourage you to talk it over with your pastor. Ask him to pray for you as you step into new territory in ministry.

This takes another step of vulnerability. I understand that. But by bringing your pastor in on this process, he can help you venture into new territory.

4. Give Yourself Time

If you’ve been in ministry for more than ten years, you’ve probably slowly built up the façade. It’s not going to just disappear; it will take time.

Make sure you allow yourself time to release years of protective layers around your heart.

5. Give It All Back to God

Whatever steps you make, and however long it takes, if God has called you to ministry, He has equipped you to do it as well.

Celebrate the small steps. Give Him all the glory and continue moving forward.

I know it’s not going to be easy—it wasn’t for me either—but the women God has brought into our lives are desperate for women in ministry to be real, to show them what it is like to live out ordinary lives with God at the forefront.

Let’s take this step together and see what God will do.

Are you wearing a mask today? What is keeping you behind the façade? What will you do to “get real” so God can minister through your transformed life?

This post was originally posted on 2/24/15 over at Upgrade with Dawn. DawnHeader

Have you heard of Upgrade with Dawn? You should check it out…

Just as we upgrade our cell phones, appliances, hairstyles and so many other things … we can UPGRADE our lives. We can make positive decisions for change.

FRESH, ENCOURAGING Guest BLOGGERS on this site share how we can UPGRADE our attitudes, marriage, finances, parenting, and so many other areas. Especially our heart. Their voices will encourage, teach, and show how to improve, boost, enhance, uplift, repair, renovate and rebuild our lives – all synonyms for “UPGRADE!” UPGRADE also offers helpful tools and resources.

A Word To Boy Moms About Preparing Your Heart

March 10, 2015 By: Melissa

Attention boy moms, there’s going to come a time when you need to make room in your heart for your son’s special girl. Ouch, I know, that’s a tough one, especially if you have little boys at home right now. As a matter of fact it took me a long time to wrap my head (and my heart) around this, but I’m hoping that through my trial and error your transition might be a little smoother.

Attention boy moms, there’s going to come a time when you need to make room in your heart for your son’s special girl.

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Over the years it’s not always been easy, as any boy mom can attest to. They are rowdy, rambunctious, messy, smelly, and pretty much keep you on your toes every minute of every day. Yep, I’m a boy mom through and through. Those two precious boys wrapped this mama heart around their fingers so tightly that when they started to grow up it was painfully hard for me to let them.

I knew that the day would come when another girl would grab their heart but nothing really prepared me for sharing my boys with someone else. I had prayed for good, godly girls to come into their life, but when they showed up I struggled. Unfortunately it wasn’t a smooth transition either–for me, for the boys, or even the girls.

…for the rest of the post, head on over to the M.O.M. Initiative.

Tips for boy moms — learning how to share your boys with their girls.

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Don’t know about the M.O.M. Initiative? Here’s a little about what we do:

The M.O.M. Initiative is an acrostic for Mothers on a Mission to Mentor Other Mothers. Our goal is to minister to moms who know Christ and reach those who don’t.

As a ministry, we provide resources and support to help the body of Christ make mentoring missional…to not only begin to mentor moms within the four walls of the church, but to mentor moms beyond the walls of the church in order to impact our communities and this culture for Christ.

With resources for the local church and area ministries, training, an online database of M.O.M. Groups, daily online encouragement, and ministry support, The M.O.M. Initiative helps connect local churches and ministries with one another and with the community.

Did You Know That We Are Wired For Rest?

February 25, 2015 By: Melissa

Rest, it’s one of those four letter words that evokes a lot of varying emotions from people. There’s the exasperated sigh, the faraway gaze of someone in need of rest and also the “what are you, a wimp?” remark from someone that thinks you should just suck it up. But what if I told you that we are actually wired for rest. What would you say then?

Oh, I know, there are too many things to do, places to go and people to see to find time to rest. I get that. I’ve even heard it said from others that they’ll have time to rest when they die, but sweet friend, that is not how God created us.

Rest, is a four letter words that evokes a lot of varying emotions, but what it I told you that we’re actually wired for rest.

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———————> I’m over at the Internet Cafe Devotions today talking about how God wired us for rest. To find out what that means and how to get started on having some time to rest in your life, then visit me over at the Internet Cafe, you can click here to get there.

The Internet Café unites women of faith; unites women through the exhortation, edification and encouragement of each other through God’s guiding hand. We seek to unite women regardless of our stage of life or the signs that mark our church doors. Passionately we believe that through our written words we can support women on their own personal journey of faith, inspiring them to live as true disciples.

Book Review: Jesus Daily 365 Interactive Devotions, by Aaron Tabor, MD

February 22, 2015 By: Melissa

My Thoughts About the Book:

Quick, easy to read and readily available for you to apply to your life right that instant with the interactive devotions. Each day you have an opportunity to connect with others — either online or in person. That’s a really cool aspect to this devotional that I’ve never come across before. There’s a practicality to it that allows the reader to do more than just read it, they actually get a chance to do something too. I also like that unlike most of the devotionals I have or have read in the past, this is one that the men in my life would like as well. Most of the others are geared more to women, but this devotional has a more universal aspect to it which makes it a great gift for anyone in your life. I’ve been enjoying it and I’m pretty sure that you will too! Interested in finding out more about this devotional? Keep reading…

About the book:

Based on the major themes found on the most active Facebook page in history, JESUS DAILY is a 365-day interactive devotional that goes beyond even the fan page to create a deeper experience and cultural movement that celebrates your redemption in Christ. JESUS DAILY presents a devotional thought but also challenges you to respond to each daily reflection using a variety of social media tools.

JESUS DAILY is a worldwide revolution in how you can connect, share, and worship the Father personally and with other believers.

Here’s a video trailer about the book:

You can purchase a copy here:

http://www.amazon.com/Jesus-Daily-365-Interactive-Devotions-ebook/dp/B00I829RLK/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1424290938&sr=1-1

About the Author:

Aaron Tabor, MD, started the Jesus Daily Facebook page in 2009. He is the President of Gene Facelift, a gene therapy biotechnology company developing anti-aging and wound healing drugs. Dr. Tabor is a graduate of The Johns Hopkins School of Medicine.

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received one or more of the products or services mentioned above for free in the hope that I would mention it on my blog. Regardless, I only recommend products or services I use personally and believe will be good for my readers. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255: “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Book Review: Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family, by Michelle Anthony

February 15, 2015 By: Melissa

My Thoughts About the Book:

Quick, easy to read but powerfully packed with real practical advice on to avoid the 6 dysfunctional parenting styles. Michelle Anthony has written a book that any mom or dad can pick up right this very minute and start to apply the Biblical truths tucked into 191 pages of this book.

What I really love about it is that in each chapter there are steps to get practical, because let’s face it, we can read lots of great stuff, but if we don’t take the time to drill it down into practical steps that we can apply to our lives, then chances are it’s just another book we read that we put up on our shelf. Michelle also takes it a step further and has a “reflect and respond” section at the back of each chapter.

With chapters like these you can jump straight to the topic you want to focus on first (I know I did, I scooted myself right over to the chapter on “Relinquishing Control – For The Micro-Managing Parent”.)

Here’s a list of the other chapters:
– Chapter 1: The Director and the Script – Choosing the Abundant Life
– Chapter 2: The Six Dysfunctions of Parenting – Omitting God From the Scene
– Chapter 3: Kissing The World Good-Bye – For the Double-Minded Parent
– Chapter 4: Free Indeed – For The I-Can’t-Say-No Parent
– Chapter 5: Beyond the Pursuit of Perfection – For the Driver Parent
– Chapter 6: Relinquishing Control – For the Micro-Managing Parent
– Chapter 7: A Time to Bless – For the Criticizing Parent
– Chapter 8: Living a Meaningful Family Mission – For the Absentee Parent
– Chapter 9: Beyond Good Behavior and Chore Charts – For the Spiritually Healthy Family
– Chapter 10: Remember and Celebrate the Abundant Life – Rites of Passage for Our Children

On top of that, she even takes it a step further and helps you in writing a family mission statement, which is something we’ve done in our family over the years. Moms and Dads, if you’re looking for a great book on taking your family to the next level, then you need to check out “Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family”. Even though my kids are now “adults”, I’m reading and learning right alongside you even still today.

What kind of family do you want to have? Find out in “Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family”.

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About the book:

Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family: Avoiding the 6 Dysfunctional Parenting Styles (David C. Cook, January 2015)We all want to guide our children into the abundant life that Jesus offers. But when we pursue the more and better that the world offers above our pursuit of Jesus, we fall into dangerous parenting habits. In Becoming a Spiritually Healthy Family, Michelle Anthony unpacks six common dysfunctional parenting styles that we fall into out of habit, lack of attention, or just oversight due to busyness. If you long to show your children Jesus but don’t know how to do it, you’ll find hope in this practical guide to creating a relentlessly grace-filled home that is focused on God as first in charge.Includes Scripture guides, reflection questions, ideas for family rites of passage, and other real life family examples.

You can purchase a copy for yourself here: http://bit.ly/1BSJpxN

About the author:

Michelle Anthony is the vice president of Learning Resources and Family Ministry Architect at David C Cook and the author of Spiritual Parenting, Dreaming of More for the Next Generation, A Theology of Family Ministry, and The Big God Story. Michelle has graduate degrees in Christian education, theology, and leadership and over twenty-five years of church ministry experience as a children’s and family pastor. She lives in Colorado Springs and loves a good book and a cup of coffee.

Find Michelle online: website, Facebook, Twitter

The Secret To Living A Defiant Joy: An interview with Margaret Feinberg

January 22, 2015 By: Melissa

One of my favorite authors, Margaret Feinberg, has been through a brutal fight with cancer and shares the unexpected lessons she discovered along the way in her new book and Bible study Fight Back With Joy.

It’s been inspiring to learn how Margaret has been practicing a defiant joy, and I and thought you might like to get an insider’s look, a sneak peek of the video and read an interview with Margaret.

Preview the 6-Session DVD Bible Study, here.

Your newest book and Bible study, Fight Back With Joy, was born out of your fight with a life-threatening illness. What was your difficult diagnosis, and what has your journey to health entailed?

For the last 18 months, I’ve been battling breast cancer. Breast cancer isn’t just one disease represents thousands of different diseases with their varying components and factors. Being diagnosed under the age of 40 is significant. I’ve been through a brutal year of chemotherapy, radiation, and more surgeries than I can count or want to remember.

Why did you write Fight Back With Joy?

I studied joy for a year and was putting the finishing touches on book on joy—just two weeks from turning it into the publisher, when I received the diagnosis. I had been pursuing and activating joy in my life in the relatively good times, now I had to do it in the midst of darkness, depression, and torturous pain. Through the process, I’ve discovered the breadth, depth, and power of joy—that despite hundreds of sermons and many decades in the church—no one had told me of before.

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In Fight Back With Joy book and Bible study, you really push the reader to reevaluate their definition of joy. Why do you think this is so important?

Much of the teaching I’ve heard on joy over the years is oversimplified. I remember those days in Sunday school learning that JOY is spelled Jesus, Others, Yourself. While that made perfect sense at 9 years old, I’ve seen how distorted that can become as an adult.

I see friends who love Jesus but spend so much time pouring into their kids, grandkids and others that their joy looks something like this: jOy.

Technically, it still spells joy, but more than anything, these men and women who are so exhausted, so empty, so running on fumes from pouring into others need to pause and take time to focus on themselves. Laying hold of joy right now will require them to reevaluate for a season and discover the joy that comes with JYo.

I also noticed how most of the definitions of joy define it more by what it isn’t than by what it is. I constantly heard that happiness is based on circumstance but joy is not dependent on circumstance.

Biblical expressions of joy turn out to be far different than what I had been taught. I am now convinced the writers of the Bible would say that, the reason we have joy is because we have great circumstances. If you are a child of God, you are drenched in the grace and mercy of God.

No matter what you’re facing: Your circumstances are better than you think.

If you’re not experiencing joy, perhaps it’s because your definition of joy is too narrow.

On a scale of 1-10, how hard was it for you to write this book and Bible study?

An eleven! This journey has been the most painful experience of my life. And, to share about it requires some vulnerability. Okay, a lot of vulnerability. And, that’s really, really hard. But I feel like I’m finally ready to share what God has stirred in my heart along the way because although cancer has been the most painful journey—it has also been the most joyful. And no one is more surprised than I am.

Pick up a copy of Fight Back With Joy at Amazon or Barnes and Noble today.

They Can Choose To Go Their Own Way

November 18, 2014 By: Melissa

Train up a child in the way he should go,
And when he is old he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 22:6 NKJV

Chances are if you’ve been around any mom of faith then you’ve probably rubbed up against this verse a few times. It’s sort of like the parenting “go-to” verse. It’s a great truth that I’ve clung to many times while raising my boys…but, there’s one part of it that I never fully was able to grasp until now.

Here’s what I’ve been learning on my twenty first year as a mama bear, we can train up them up–but they can choose to go their own way.

Gulp. That one has not been an easy pill to swallow for me. I have crossed all my t’s and dotted all my i’s along this parenting journey and truth be told, I thought I would get to this point and be able to sit back and rest in the fruit of those many years of godly parenting.

Go ahead, you can laugh out loud.
I did too.

Seriously, I just had to stop and laugh at myself for thinking that if you did “all the right things”, or at least tried to, while your kids were growing that you would miraculously end up with these perfect adults and then…ta-da, you’re done.

……….I’m over at the M.O.M. Initiative today talking about this, stop by and take a few minutes to find out what I’ve been learning along the way.

The M.O.M. Initiative website exists as safe place to grow as a mother, to gain a better understanding of what a mother is and what a mother does and to foster and support mentor and mentee relationships. Along with practical tips, helpful tools, informative insight on current issues and godly wisdom on just about every aspect of a mother’s life, this website also offers a private chat room where a mom can connect with a ‘virtual’ mentor and find help in times of need.

The primary vision for The M.O.M. Initiative is that it not only be limited to those who enter the four walls of the church, but that it also be used to facilitate mentor relationships in homes for unwed mothers, in low income housing projects, apartment complexes, homeless shelters, prisons, juvenile shelters, schools, hospitals, the mission field and anywhere young mothers can be found. Planning guides for each of these venues will be available in the back of the book.

The M.O.M. Initiative is not just a book. It’s not just a website. IT’S A REVOLUTION!

Tackling A Few Motherhood Myths

October 21, 2014 By: Melissa

Today I’m over at The M.O.M. Initiative talking about

“Motherhood Is Hard Work – It’s Time For Moms To Stick Together”.

Without a doubt being a mom is one of the hardest jobs I’ve ever had in my life. Never would I have imagined the sheer number of emotions and the intensity each one brings with it. It’s true, motherhood is hard work, and it’s time for moms to stick together.

It’s my heart that by coming to you as a “seasoned” (that’s a nicer way of saying “older”) mom and sharing a little bit of what I’ve learned on the journey of being a mom.

Here’s what I can tell you…it doesn’t get easier.

Yeah, not the answer you expected, I know. Yes, each stage has its highs and lows, but the motherhood part–well, it’s just as hard today as it was the day I brought my little bundle of joy home. Now that bundle of joy is inching closer to twenty one and the “baby”, well, he’s closing in on nineteen.

So you see, I’ve been on this motherhood journey for a very long time. Here are a few motherhood myths that I’ve seen along the way.

Motherhood Myths

I can do it all on my own – This happens when we can’t, won’t or don’t ask for help. We put on our wonder woman suit and will do whatever it takes to get it done.

Here’s the truth – Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NLT

Here’s a better way – Seek out a couple of friends that you can count on to jump in and help you get it done. Whether it is a babysitting swap so you can get your cleaning done, or coordinating a group outing so that you can take some time to just slow down and breathe a little bit.

——————> Head on over to The M.O.M. Initiative to read the other 2 Motherhood Myths and while you are there, find out a little more about the incredible group of moms over there…you’ll be so glad you did!

Have you heard about the M.O.M. Initiative?

Here’s a little bit about what we’re doing…

The M.O.M. Initiative is an acrostic for Mothers on a Mission to Mentor Other Mothers. Our goal is to minister to moms who know Christ and reach those who don’t.

The Grass Withers – Visual Verse

October 2, 2014 By: Melissa

The grass withers, the flower fades,
but the word of our God will stand forever.
Isaiah 40:8 ESV

I love this verse! If you click the link then you will also be able to see it in the NIV and MSG translation. It always great to see the different translations of the verse because inevitably something pops out you in a way that you’ve never noticed before. Go ahead…try it.

Visual Verses are simply verses that have been on my heart and that I’ve made into graphics. I am a very visual kinda girl and I love a pretty little pic along with my verse so that I can print them out and post them wherever I might need them…in the car, on the nightstand, or in my journal.

They are also for you too!

You are more than welcome to download them or even pin them on your pinterest pages.

As a matter of fact I would love it if you did, they are yours to enjoy as well.

Seeking JOY on the Journey,

Melissa